The Herald, The Edge: Clontarf, and I – Week 2

27 Jan

The Herald, The Edge: Clontarf and I

Week Two:

This week I have begun a food diary. This is a great tool in keeping control of my eating and also helps my trainer to see if there are certain foods that may be affecting me in a positive/negative way.


Friday 20th Jan – 10 stone 5lbs or 66 kilos

Friday 27th Jan = 10 stone 1lb or 64kilos

Body fat from 20% to 19.5%

Training Day five:

Friday 20th Jan. David. Body-fat.This is the dreaded weekly weigh-in and body fat measurement that tracks my progress. Once my shoes, all jewelry and anything on the body that may possibly register as a 1/100 of a pound are removed, I hold my breath and step on the scales. Next, a small velvet lined wooden box is opened and out comes the loathsome caliper with a sort of barometer attached. This will pinch all the areas we suck in, cover up and squeeze tight. There are measurements of the front armpit fat, the belly button and the under-the-boob extra roll etc, etc, embarrassing, embarrassing.

Once prodded like a basting turkey, the upshot of this humiliating ordeal is that each week, the results are positive. By pinching and prodding all the lumpy bits, he can tell me whether I need to increase or decrease my sugar, carbs, greens, proteins, whining and whimpering. I had lost 1% body fat and 1 kilo.

Then we train! The crotch-bashing machine was back in play, as were the gruesome lunges. The mere mention of ‘Military Burpee’s’ makes my spine turn to jelly. They are utter horror! And so another near death experience in The Edge!

 Training Day six:

Sunday 22nd Jan. Alex. Again we boxed. Already I am stronger and am beginning to develop some stamina. I didn’t need to put my head between my legs in order to stay conscious, but it was by no means any easier. The trainers have an uncanny skill in assessing your utter limit and pushing you right to the brink. I have a decent punch in my right arm but my left is as useful as a swinging length of string. Boxing challenges the whole body trying to hit hard while bouncing around, concentrating on combinations and cardio. It is a high intensity session where boxing, burpees, crunches and push-ups are drilled at high speed. I am a pacifist and would never join an army, but boxing feels very much like military initiation!

Training Day seven:

Monday 23rd Jan. David. Walking in to The Edge always involves a level of giddy trepidation. I know I will suffer but I also know it will end with a certain elation. On this sunny winter morning David suggests we do Body Fat again, now I feel nothing but anxiety. As it turns out, this particular pinch made me very happy indeed.

David has trained me in the past and can read my body like a copy of “Training for Dummies”. He knew I should have lost more and lo and behold, since Friday, another 2 kilos! I was feeling very smug indeed.

David is like a one-man pit stop; he knows exactly where and when I need a tune up. Yes, I realize I am comparing myself to a Formula 1 racecar, a Ferrari may be a stretch but I don’t see why I can’t be a well-maintained vintage Ford Mustang.

The training session was hard, as always, but a little less crucifying than previous days. All in all, my favorite day so far!

Weight on Monday 23rd Jan = 10 stone 1lb or 64kilos

Body fat 19.5%

Training Day eight:

Wednesday 25th Jan. Brendan. Although Bren is a lovely guy, he decided to punish me for referring to him as a very polite trainer. This he is, but little did I know that in this testosterone factory, to be deemed polite is a slight on their machismo?

I really should know by now that the occasional ‘please’ and ‘well done’ is somewhat hollow when you are punished for failing to lift those weights in those crippling final reps.

Punishment in the form of more reps is quite simply torture, BUT there is method in this cruelty. The mere threat somehow finds that extra push and that primal urge based purely on will and those weights somehow make it one more time. It is a psychological and physical battle but strangely enough, it feels a lot like meditation. When your mind spends an hour solely focused on the body, it’s amazing how refreshed your brain feels after.

It is impossible to train to any degree of success when you’re mentally preoccupied, but the challenges faced in The Edge will very quickly introduce that focus.


One Response to “The Herald, The Edge: Clontarf, and I – Week 2”

  1. david mulqueen January 28, 2012 at 9:16 am #

    “I realize I am comparing myself to a Formula 1 racecar, a Ferrari”, good comparison. You wouldn’t put sub-standard, shitty fuel into a car so why would you put sub-standard shitty fuel into your body. Keep up the good work Fi. David

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